Parents Feel a Need, Win Grant to Help Fight Bullying

That young gays and lesbians are the victims of teasing, bullying and harassment is well-known.  

That this ostracism can lead to depression and suicide is increasingly in the public eye, with the September death of Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi as a recent poignant reminder. Clementi threw himself off a bridge after being outed on Facebook by video allegedly shot by his roommates, without his knowledge.

What’s less talked about and researched is the vulnerability of the children of gays and lesbians to bullying and prejudice, because of the sexuality of their parents.

But this trickle-down homophobia exists, say an Albany lesbian couple, with children at . And so, as a kind of preemptive measure to support their children and others like them, the moms helped start a support group for Albany LGBTQ families, and their friends.

That was four year ago. This year, LGBTQA Albany Families, which includes roughly 30 families, is expanding its reach, thanks to a grant from Alameda County. (The name stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, queer and allies.)

The partnered with the group on the grant. 

“This is to reinforce the group's effort of reducing the isolation of their families and providing support to their kids,” said Jennifer, one of the Cornell moms, and a therapist who worked on the grant application with her partner, Eveline Shen.

“We’re working with people in the district on how to get the most bang for our buck,” Jennifer said. 

An injection of cash to foster learning 

The $6,900 grant is from the Innovation Grants Program of Behavioral Health Care Services, which provides mental health services for Alameda County. Innovation grants are funded by Prop 63 money, or the Mental Health Services Act, a 1 percent tax on incomes of $1 million a year or greater, passed by voters in 2004.

Of the 272 grant applications received in 2010, 22 received funding, including the Albany group. 

According to the agency’s website, criteria for grant consideration include being a novel, creative and/or ingenious approach to improving mental health in Alameda County; having a focus on learning rather than service delivery; and contributing to new learning in the field of mental health.

Eveline Shen and Jennifer acknowledge that the money isn’t huge in the big picture of educational programs.

But, for their homespun group of volunteers, it’s a meaningful boost in their mission of preventing bullying and promoting a safe learning environment for all students, they said.

“I wanted to make sure that, as my kids are growing up, they’re seeing a presence of families like ours,” said Shen, who is the executive director of Asian Communities for Reproductive Justice.  

“To see that families come in all sorts of shapes and sizes -- of normalizing this idea.”

The group has made a "huge difference" for their children, the women said, which encourages them to reach out to others. 

"They can look across the playground and see kids who have LGBT parents. It gives them a lot of comfort," Shen said. 

A model for other communities

According to the group's grant application, there are an estimated more than 7 million children in the United States with LGBTQ parents, with the largest percentage living in the Bay Area. 

"There are many documented cases of serious mental health issues, including depression and suicidality, related to homophobic teasing and bullying among LGBTQ youth," the grant application says, in part.

"Currently, there is very little information about how to reach children from LGBTQ parent-led families who are also targets of homophobic bullying." 

One goal of the group is to hone a school-community bullying prevention partnership that can serve as a model for other areas. 

With grant planning under way, the money will be used to enhance the family group's ongoing social, educational and advocacy activities, which include workshops and guest speakers

The money will also be used to provide resources to teachers to help them address homophobic bullying, such as books, videos and other materials, Shen said. 

“Teachers need tools,” she said.

Thus far, the group has primarily involved elementary school families. Its goal is to reach more middle- and high school families, and to eventually expand to include LGBTQ students as well, said the women.

“We want this grant to touch all three school levels in some way. The people who are working to coordinate this want it to have a lasting impact, ” Shen said.

An importance piece of the school district's overall goals

Deborah Brill, a sixth grade teacher at , who is also a district "safe schools" coordinator and works on reducing bullying, said LGBTQA Families is making an important contribution to the school district's commitment to being safe and inclusive for all students.

“I really appreciate what (they’re) doing," Brill said. “Their approach seems to be to see what is already in place, identify what would be most helpful and support these efforts. This model is really effective.”

The school district's strategic plan includes goals of increasing the numbers of students who feel safe on campus and have positive relationships with staff and peers. Safe school coordinators, such as Brill, help implement these goals, acting as campus resources for practices such as

“It is so important to integrate LGBTQ issues into our schools through curriculum, lessons and opportunities for discussion, in a way that makes all kids feel accepted and accepting of our diverse student body,” Brill said.

Shen is a also member of the district's strategic planning team. She stresses that its goals are broad. 

"This is just a piece of what the district is doing to make our kids safe. This is a particular slice for LBGT kids. For us, it's very important to make sure that it's safe for everyone."

Everybody makes mistakes ... ! If there's something in this article you think should be corrected, or if something else is amiss, call Emilie Raguso at 510-459-8325 or email her at emilier@patch.com.