Hypnosis in Childbirth—Not Just for the Mother!

In today’s age of medicalized childbirth, it’s even more important for the mother, the partner and the newborn to be bonded throughout the birthing experience. But most childbirth classes emphasize only the mother, and the partner has no substantial training supporting the mother’s comfort through labor let alone meeting their own needs. The bonding process that could take place between the parents is neglected so that, even in a successful birth experience, the partner feels left out of the process. And when it comes to special coping techniques for pain management during childbirth, we usually think of hypnosis being just for the mother.

Mutual, or joint, hypnosis is an effective practice that assists the couple in bonding through the profound childbirth experience. Hypnosis that activates all our senses and uses touch and visualization for both parents can enhance and transform what normally would be stressful.

Training in mutual hypnosis teaches the couple anchoring techniques by utilizing touch for those parts of the body that encourage feelings of relaxation and deepening of trance. These places on the body are unique for each person. By finding out what works for each person, the couple establishes a feeling of security, comfort and ease. For example, the partner may respond most by having their feet rubbed whereas the mother may respond more to having her shoulders rubbed or lower back massaged. Utilizing touch, the couple can communicate with each other a sense of well being and relaxation.

By following a certain sequence of touch that is unique for that couple, they can deepen their sense of well being. For example, when contractions arise, by utilizing a relaxed part of the body, the partner can say, “The feeling of relaxation in the soles of your feet is spreading to your contractions. With each exhalation, you find yourself becoming more and more relaxed.”

Using words and voice tone they can deepen each others’ trance. With mutual hypnosis, the couple can create an imaginary place or a real place where they felt deeply at peace and in love with one another. Let’s say that they fantasized being on a secluded beach and the water and the air and each wave and the sand are all the same temperature. As they lie on the beach, the waves gently roll over them. With each wave, they find themselves more and more in tune with each other, and more and more at peace. So with each breath, each exhale, they utilize the beach scene to deepen trance and are enjoying each contraction, more and more as the waves gently roll over them. Then they can combine touch with visualization.

Between each contraction, the mother in labor and partner find themselves more at peace as they continue to describe in more detail using all five senses the beach scene: the smell of the air, the taste of saltwater, the warmth of the sun on their skin, the sound of the waves and the warm water rushing over their bodies. Seeing or noticing palm fronds blowing gently in the distance, the birds soaring overhead, different shapes of clouds rolling by, pelicans diving for fish – everything so alive and fresh – it feels like the whole earth is giving birth.

Milton Erickson, MD was fond of saying, where there is potential for pain, there is also potential for pleasure. Just as the baby was conceived in love, so the baby moving down the birth canal can also be welcomed with love and pleasure. At times it may be necessary for the partner to apply counter pressure to relieve some of the intense pressure of the mother in labor. As the mother continues to dilate naturally, the partner reminds her that this is all about giving birth to a new life.

At the time labor reaches transition, and the contractions become closer and closer together, the couple gets more and more excited about the coming birth and start to wonder what the baby might look like. The partner advises the mother that each contraction brings us closer to the birth. Now as the transition continues they have an even greater emphasis on touch anchoring to maintain the closeness between the partners. When the baby crowns, both partners begin to shift their awareness to the needs of the baby.

Mutual hypnosis enhances all variations of childbirth, including cesarean. It can also be used to help heal trauma from past birth experiences.

Upon delivery with mutual hypnosis, both partners are closer to one another and more receptive to including a newborn in their lives. They have re-framed the experience of extreme stress to extreme pleasure and bonding. They are more ready to face the challenges and days ahead into parenting, together. Bonding through mutual hypnosis during childbirth sets the stage for being successful parents and raising a healthy, stable family.