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Letter: Judging Council Candidates on Their Affiliations

Albany Patch welcomes guest columns and letters to the editor via email at albany@patch.com.

By Brian Parker

[Editor's Note: Albany Patch would love your 300-word letters to the editor. Learn more here.]

I just read one of the questions the Albany Patch is asking candidates for Council and it seems like a direct throwback to the McCarthy Era. 

Here’s my take on the field given this theme introduced to our civil discourse by the Patch.

Two Albany City Council candidates have been endorsed by the Sierra Club.  Few people know, although a few Patch readers seem to have realized, that this means they have had chips embedded in their brains that allow them to be manipulated by an evil syndicate of environmental groups including the Sierra Club, Audubon Society, Citizens for Eastshore Parks and Citizens for the Albany Shoreline. 

They will be taking directions directly from Norman La Force, who will be sitting, laughing manically in El Cerrito. 

Even fewer folks realize that three other candidates have had chips embedded in them by a group controlled by our Chamber of Commerce, Golden Gate Fields, AT&T, the UC Property Development Group, and Whole Foods. Frank Stronach will be manipulating these candidates via transmissions from cell towers. 

Finally, the last two candidates are under the direct control of a collective of Occupy the Farm, the Green Party, ARROW and the Ruckus Society. No one knows for sure how they are being manipulated, but it’s thought to be done organically.

Apparently the Manchurian Candidate was only the tip of the iceberg! Less than 40 days to go and it would be a novel idea if we all try to judge our local candidates on where they stand on the issues. We do seem to have some this election!

James Simmons October 15, 2012 at 01:41 PM
Brian, Try lining your clothing with aluminum foil before election day. I think the chip problem might be more wide spread than what you're reporting.
ADeweyan October 15, 2012 at 05:40 PM
Clearly the only safe candidates, then, are the ones being controlled by cell tower transmissions -- since reception is so poor in the Council Chambers. ;-)
Carol Newborg October 15, 2012 at 08:29 PM
Thanks for some perspective here!
Tatter Salad October 15, 2012 at 11:51 PM
Sorry, Albany doesn't need more idealogues. Making light of their ideosyncrasies doesn't help. (Webster's Def.): “an impractical idealist. An often blindly partisan advocate or adherent of a particular ideology.” We've seen enough of that at the House/Federal level, where NOTHING gets done, and now, in Albany too. It's enough that the Race Track development was opposed by 7-Organizations, including one's that have blessed those running for Council. It's enough that 2-lawsuits were tossed at the WholeFoods project, one suit which included the name (of a seemingly reasonable) applicant for Council. But then there are the three of the Candidates support 'Bolt Cutter Diplomacy.' Meaning: "It's OK to take over property illegally, if THEY believe they have a better use; tomato's trump decades of research on improving the 3rd-world's food supply and diminishing or dependency on chemical pesticide). These three Candidates are easy for me to dismiss. While we certainly share their concerns, the City Council and Mayor's slot needs MUCH better IMHO.

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