Health & Fitness
Airborn Candy, Loose Chickens, and a Stolen Sidewalk All in a Day's Work for APD
The Albany PD is there to serve, whether that means uphold the law, give out free advice, or just look pretty.
Thoughts on ...
APRIL 19, THURSDAY
8:54 a.m. A passer-by reported a large swarm of bees in a tree near a fence on Castro Street.
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Yeah, you have to watch out for those bees. They might start pollinating once your back is turned, and then where would we be?
12:11 p.m. A couple got into a fight at the and threw candy. Police were unable to locate them.
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What kind of candy?
4:02 p.m. A freelance musician went into the Police Department
lobby for advice on how to get paid by a former collaborator.
The Albany PD is there to serve, whether that means uphold the law, give out free advice, or just look pretty.
APRIL 20, Friday
10:06 p.m. A woman on Hillside Avenue reported that "a neighbor 'stole' 5 feet of her sidewalk" and asked to speak with an officer in person. Police determined that no action was needed.
She could always get back at her neighbor by stealing the air above the sidewalk, and it’s a lot lighter to carry, too…
APRIL 23, MONDAY
9:35 a.m. Someone stole two flags and a rope from the flag pole at Ocean View Elementary School during the weekend.
Well, yeah, it would be kind of silly to steal the flags and not a rope to put them up with…
APRIL 24, TUESDAY
8:59 p.m. A woman reportedly slapped a man during the after he asked her to stop interrupting the discussion.
Maybe there was a mosquito on him, and she was trying to protect him from getting bitten.
APRIL 27, FRIDAY
3:19 p.m. A caller with a wildlife rescue agency reported three
teenagers carrying a live deer fawn at San Pablo and Marin avenues.
It took three teens to carry one baby deer? You think maybe Albany High should have a better fitness program?
5:45 p.m. A caller reported five loose chickens at Brighton and Stannage avenues "in case we (receive) a report from the owner.
Loose in what way? Were they wearing skimpy clothing and offering themselves to roosters they hardly knew?
6:17 p.m. A caller on Key Route Boulevard reported that someone stole a cement cherub from his front yard.
Some frat now has a cement cherub next to that from last week.
APRIL 28, FRIDAY
11:09 a.m. Someone stole $10 in quarters out of one vehicle on Pomona Avenue.
Someone scored the Laundromat jackpot!
1:06 p.m. An insistent customer at an optometrist's shop on Solano Avenue said he would not leave "until he sees Susan."
Even really good optometrists can’t make glasses that guarantee you will be able to see someone who isn’t there.
If you're a glutton for punishment and want to read more from Tanya, check out her blog, For Words.
