Health & Fitness
In Jest: Time Limit on Salad Bar Should Be Clearly Posted
The Albany Police Department has another busy few weeks.
[In response to the weekly police bulletin, .]
DEC. 3
10:10 p.m. Someone reported four to five teens in a car on Neilson Street "vomiting and hitting each other."
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Well, yeah, it’s not actually against the law to vomit. It’s totally gross, but not illegal. And if they're not vomiting on anyone besides each other, then who are we to judge?
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DEC. 8
2:19 p.m. A 45-year-old woman wearing a purple, white and black jacket showed up at wanting the free salad bar. She claimed "she was in yesterday and took steak home."
I agree that the Sizzler should have made it clear that one purchase of a steak does not mean a free salad bar for life.
DEC. 9
12:45 p.m. A gray-bearded man on Evelyn Avenue, in his 70s or 80s and wearing a baseball hat and jean jacket, was said to be "throwing grass at dogs in the yard" and "exhibiting strange behavior."
Throwing grass at dogs and exhibiting strange behavior?
1:42 p.m. A man reported being bitten by a dog at Solano and Talbot avenues.
Was the victim the gray-bearded fellow reported an hour earlier on Evelyn pelting those poor dogs with grass? Maybe the dog bit him in retaliation to show solidarity for the oppressed of his species.
3:58 p.m. Someone busted out the rear window of a vehicle in the Taco Bell parking lot.
6:44 p.m. Someone reported a man at Sizzler looking inside vehicles.
These two parking lots are adjacent. Maybe Taco Bell and the Sizzler should go halvesies on a security guard.
7:19 p.m. A man on Kains called police to say he could not park his car "because the other vehicles are too close." He asked if police could park his vehicle for him.
And then when he wants to leave, he can call the fire department to help him get out.
DEC. 12
11:44 a.m. Someone used keys to enter a home in the 800 block of Kains while a resident was in the bathroom. The resident said "Excuse me" to the intruder, who "took off."
It seems to me that it’s the intruder who should say “Excuse me,” not the poor resident whose, uh, activities were interrupted.
DEC. 13
3:59 p.m. Someone on Jackson Street said her back sliding door and back gate had been opened, and her dog was gone.
Had it been opened from the inside or the outside? Maybe the dog is just out for a joy ride.
