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Health & Fitness

Missing Cell is Return to Simplicity

This is a little ditty on cell phone etiquette. Read with caution, but enjoy the humor. In Canada we spell humor with a 'u'- humour. It's much funnier that way.

One day in the afternoon I felt an absence in my shirt pocket. My cell phone went missing. At utter peace with myself I traced my steps zen-like. Once I had explored all possible locations, I came  to the startling conclusion - my cell phone was gone!

I thought about all the people who phoned me about this or that tiny detail. The wire had been cut (that would be a metaphor). My extended family would have only a useless speed dial. And work? My wonderful phone also takes in text and emails. No longer would I receive millions of dollars from the Ugandan Treasury.

My sense of panic, being cut off from the world, gradually faded away with my initial reaction of denial. The phone will show up in some obvious spot such as compressed in the front seat of my station wagon. The phone did not appear. I was adrift.

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My days and evenings were fairly quiet. I enjoyed a meal plucked from raspberry bushes and swiss chard. One day I watched the sunset. It was a beautiful sight. Despite the ominous forwarnings, the world did not come to an end. In a sense I was in my own rapture, taking long walks without cell phone constraints. I was gone for some time and rather enjoyed this foreign solitude.

While transplanting succulents, sorting potting mix and separating one gallon pots, I felt a dirt clod at the bottom of the last container. I split open the little one gallon receptacle, and there at the very bottom was not a dirt clod but my cell phone. It stared back at me as if to say, "I was so enjoying the dark and silence, and here you are with your demands and probing electronics. Leave me be."

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We all know the ending of this tale. The cell phone is back in service. I am up and running with all my wires connected. Input and out put, red flags with appropriate ring tones. The world is humming along. I can see clearly now and the days literally fly by.

Here comes the message. Here comes the judge.

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